Eight years ago, I converted from Atheism to Catholicism thanks to supportive brother, sixty young Catholic adults in love with Christ in charismatic worship, one beautiful Canadian man preaching the basic Gospel message, The Virgin Mary, and attempted (and successful!) personal prayer.
What I am about to say will totally cast a shadow on this beautiful image I have just painted for you, but fear not, we shall return to a new canvas that the both of us are bound to be more pleased with. After I had my BAM GOD IS REAL moment and as time went on, I wasn't as happy/fulfilled as I thought I would be;
Since that moment I never doubted God was real and I knew with all my heart that the Catholic Church held the fullness of truth and beauty in the Christian faith.
But…
Do you ever kinda get bored of God? (I feel so saucy for even typing this!) Whenever I tell my brother I'm bored of God he says 'God's not boring, you're boring'. I get that, if we are getting bored with God, then we have the wrong idea about who God is.
| he says 'God's not boring, you're boring'
What I'm awkwardly trying to describe is, we cannot fathom God as he can be fathomed, we can only grasp a piece of who He is on this side of Heaven.
A priest once told me that every moment in heaven a new revelation of God is being made known - every moment! And all of heaven is constantly crying out with joy, with wonder and awe at the Majesty of God.
My spiritual director once told me "You have Jesus already, and not yet"
And it's so true! One moment I am on FIRE for Jesus, ready to bicycle kick sin in the face, and the next I'm so utterly bored and feel so bad that the love of my life doesn't excite me as he once did.
But this is the battle.
Loving Jesus doesn't mean feeling good all the time. But it does mean loving him, even if you don't feel like it.
Can you do this?
Can I do this?
I don’t think I can.
At least not on my own. Before I can love Him I need His love first. We need Jesus to love Jesus. So let’s not back down from daily personal prayer and frequent visits of the Sacraments, lets surround ourselves with like-minded christian brothers and sisters, accept ourselves however we feel and instead of praying to feel better, pray to love better.
This Article was written by Emma Fradd, a Catholic artist and musician. Emma is an Aussie currently living in England, working as a high school youth minister and pursuing her call to music. Check out her music here: www.facebook.com/EmmaFradd